Throughout my life I have seen many people who are hesitant to change. Some were scared to leave home and go off to college. Others worried about missing their friends and finding a job, so they delayed graduating from college by staying for a fifth year. When they were stuck in a job they didn’t enjoy or weren’t passionate about they didn’t look for alternatives. In all of these situations, the individuals were afraid of change.
The main reason people fear change in their lives is that they don’t want to regret making the wrong decision. Even if they know that they will go on to bigger and better things in their life, they don’t want to leave what they have now because they are used to it. They get comfortable with their surroundings, group of friends and cushy paycheck.
The Truth
Life can start to evolve into the one you actually dream of when you realize that you will regret what you didn’t do more than what you did do. Mark Twain said it best.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
- Mark Twain
At the crossroads of major transitions in your life, such as going back to school or losing your job, it can be hard to see past the first month or so of the change. You must remove yourself from the initial feelings of anxiety, anger or fear and look at what your life can now become in the next five to ten years.
Going Back to School
Having to go further into debt to attend school can keep people from doing what they love for a lifetime. If you are set on the fact that it is what you want to do, don’t let money be the reason you don’t follow your passions.
Why not get a 7-day free trial at an all-inclusive training website such as Lynda.com to develop your technical skills with photo editing or graphic design software instead of thousands of dollars on a degree? How about pouring through the full class lectures, exams and videos available on MIT’s Open Courseware before you decide on what to go back to school for? Information is more readily available than ever before and there are free or inexpensive ways online to learn about whatever you are interested in.
Life is about being happy every waking moment and if you aren’t, something needs to change. If learning about what you love to do, whether that is photography, philosophy or physics, will make you happier and give you more opportunities in life, then you should do it. Being cost conscious when you make the decision about how to get your knowledge is just another way to set yourself up for success.
Losing A Job
Getting laid off or fired can be hard to handle because it is out of your control. The best thing to do in this situation is to calmly pick a plan for how you are going to spend the first few months after it happens. Follow your gut feeling about what you should be doing with your life. More often than not, you already know what you want to do with your life, you have just been too hesitant or risk averse to try it.
Use this chance as an opportunity to do what you have always dreamed of doing. If you never give your dreams a chance, you will never know where they can take you. Some of the best achievements can come from desperate situations.
Plot out a course of action to reach your dreams and follow the plan with every ounce of your being. Turn off your phone, cancel your social outings and spend time creating the life you want to live.
You Owe It To Yourself
Don’t give up on your dreams or plans for a better life. You owe it to yourself to work hard at creating a life around what you enjoy instead of plodding through each day living in regret. You won’t regret a life change if you see it as an opportunity for building a better life than you have ever had before.
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If someone you know needs to hear this message, please share below. We all need to change our lives in one way or another and sometimes all it takes to get a change in motion is a simple reminder from a friend.
Also, be sure to sign up for the free Pocket Changed Newsletter to be the first to hear when my free upcoming ebook about how I conquered my quarter life crisis is available.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Really great post, Caleb - I love the Mark Twain quote, and the links to educational resources are really fantastic. Bottom line - change is scary, but it’s going to happen anyway, so why fight the wave when you can ride it?
Exactly Danny. When you get hit with a major change in your life it can be a big wake-up call you have been waiting for.
A favorite passage of mine:
“The more things change, the more they stay the same. I am certain I am not the first person who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it’s the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw …..My inability to change.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it’s really everyone’s flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still…. It feels better somehow, and if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected…. Who knows what other pain might be waiting out there. Chances are, it could be even worse.
So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn’t seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You’re not a drug addict. You’re not killing anyone…. except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don’t think it happens like an earthquake or any explosion, where all of a sudden we’re like this different person. I think it’s smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn’t even notice unless they looked at us really, really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference and you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever….that you‘ll never have to change again”
Thank you for sharing this passage Jen.
There is a lot of truth in those words.
I really like that you highlight why you don’t have to go back to school to change direction in life.
The era of conventional education is nearly over I think. The process of formal education is too slow, especially in technological fields.
It’s like what Jonathon Mead talks about, becoming your own authority, rather than feeling the need to become certified.
I agree. Conventional education can be great way to learn certain subjects, but with others, you can learn much more by doing it on your own. It is also much cheaper!
Caleb,
Good stuff!
The change is inevitable, if we want to improve our lives.
It’s too shame that too often people are not able to see these changes as huge possibilities for the better. Rather, they stick with the old stuff, “because it works”.
Today, a friend sent me this post and she said it reminded her of a conversation we had over lunch.
It did and it was if you were writing this for me. I am talented but the light in my eyes for the work I do is slowly dimming. I know what I want to do but I’m afraid - yes, afraid that I’ll regret my decision.
What I do understand is how fear drives resistance to change and what I also understand is I don’t want to be that person 10 yrs down the road regretting what I didn’t do!!
Thanks for such encouraging words and I thank my friend for sending this post to me!!
Julia
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