The other day I was reading in my car while I waited to pick up a pizza I ordered. I was startled by a loud bang on the side of my car. Looking up I saw that someone had pulled up next to me and open their door right into the side of my car. I caught eyes with the person and they mouthed “sorry” to me. It didn’t really bother me that they may have scraped up my car so I went back to reading.
Not two minutes later the same person was getting back into their driver’s side door and THUD. They hit my car again. Another “sorry” was mouthed to me and they drove away. Not once during this whole encounter did I think about getting out of my car to see if there were any damages. I didn’t even get upset at all. I thought to myself how unimportant a scratch on my car is and went on with the rest of my day. In fact, I never did go look to see if there was a scratch.
I didn’t think twice about the encounter until later that week when I saw someone in the parking lot at work kneeling next to his fancy sports car. He was checking to see if they could buff out a little ding on their bumper. While I consider it to be common for people to value their possessions, I wondered to myself how many people add stress into their lives by overvaluing certain possessions.
The Right Amount of Value
Now I’m not saying that there aren’t specific items that I own that are of value to me, but when they become overly important I know I need to take a step back. It shouldn’t be the amount of money I spent on an object that causes me to value it. It should be the memories it reminds me of, the entertainment and joy it provides or the functionality it offers.
When someone starts to spend money just to be surrounded by things that make them feel a certain way, then the valuing of possessions has gone too far. By focusing on just what the item does and moving past how cool it is or makes you feel, you can disconnect yourself from your possessions and build stronger human relationships.
Know & Continually Improve Your Values
Everybody has a particular category of spending that they have a weakness for. Some people spend too much on cars and clothes, but for me it has always been electronics. I’ve spent more on electronics in my life than on anything other than college, rent or food.
As much as I try not to, I get pretty attached to my shiny new electronics. When I was younger I would get upset if they got scratches on them and I was hesitant about letting other people use them. Lately I’ve begun to realize that while I still spend money on new electronics, I’m less and less attached to them.
Realize that the things you own are just that; things. They depreciate in value, take up space and are time intensive to care for. Once you can step back and understand this you may stop spending needlessly on possessions to fill your life.
Instead of spending money on things, spend it on experiences. Spend money on treating others instead of focusing only on the next thing that you want. If you really want something bad enough, you won’t forget about it. Why not wait 30 or 60 days and see if you really want to spend that much money on a new toy for yourself.
Enjoy what you have. While you may be wishing you had something that somebody else has, there will always be people that wish they had what you have.
(image from romulusnr via Flickr CC 2.0)
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Caleb,
Great message here. It’s so true too, people get so wrapped up in their “stuff”, they often forget what’s really important.
Your story reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago. I was in my car parked and someone, who was not paying attention, bumped into me. It was a pretty hard bump, so I knew there would be some damage.
When I saw the look of horror on this woman’s face, I know that she felt awful and also probably really didn’t want to have to deal with the insurance thing.
I rolled down my window and told her not to worry about it, that it was an old car anyway. I received a very heartfelt ‘thank you’ and that was enough for me.
Exactly. I can understand if you have a brand new car you will be attached to it a bit. To me it is just like a new pair of shoes: once you get your first scuff, it doesn’t really matter if they get a little dirty.
Really great post, Caleb. I’m also one of those who like to keep everything in pristine condition - it really bugs me that my phone has a big scratch on it. Your post made me stop and think - does it really matter? The answer is that no, it probably doesn’t.
On another note, what’s with the guy being so self-absorbed and careless as to ding your car a second time?! Starting with that, I thought the post was going to be about consideration for others!
I get a bit upset when something like that happens, but I have matured past the point of making a big deal out of it for more like a few seconds.
The first digital camera that I bought was dropped and had the screen scratched within the first 10 minutes after I opened it. Ironically it happened right while I was putting the screen protector on it!
I had something like that happen to me except it was by grocery shopping carts. To be honest, I was a little pissed off that day, but didn’t say anything to the store. A few days later while shopping I said something to the manager and he was really nice to look into it for me. To make a long story short, I did receive money from the grocery store’s insurance company and lived with the dents.
I think if there was a sizable accident or something other than a minor scratch I may have looked into it, but it really was just a sign of me being disconnected from material goods.